my Life

no more sad, no more tears
no more happy, no more laugh
no more life, no more live
no more joke and
no more love...

only alone In the darkness
only alone with all this pain
only alone wiThout love
'till no word is left unspoken

i don't even can feel how the real frIendship is
i don't even can touch the love
i don't even know how it feelS
'cause i have nobody

sAdness.. sickness..
shyness.. hopeLess..
those are what i usually feeL in my life
and i don't know how to chAnge my destiny
or even how to change my life

you don't even make me feel, like i'm something real
you don't even know a thing about me
But yOu'd just rUin my life
where's all The happiness?
and when i will get it?

answer My question..
answEr me..

[ XheL'z ]

a neverending love

it was november 2007
that was the first time that i realized tHat i love you
we were in the 6th gradE
i've never seen anything so perfect but you

i was totally In love with you
and i knew, from that day on
something bad would never be that bad
becauSe i had you

my life so colourful
you changed My life
and i loved it
all i could think is "we should be together"

i never thought i'd meet anYbody like you
i Felt like you're everything I've ever wanted
you made me feel like
life is woRth it

life iS not meaningless
that's what i thought
buT suddenly my worst nightmare came alive
you're changed

we're not friends anymore,you hate me
you don't even want to taLk to me
did yOu forget eVerything?
plEase come back to me

'cause you're the one
i want to be with

[ XheL'z and Audy ]

my wishes

yesterday, i cried when i arrived at hoMe
i've been thinking about my teacher's storY
he told me about something that is so sad
and it's making me remember about the past

it's a story about he and me When we were in 6th grade
about my love story, my sacrIficed
and everythIng i did to Show him that i love him
but He didn't get It at all
that iS one reason why I was sad

and when we were In the 7th grade
he didn't notiCe me
we didn't even say "hello" tO each other
and I felt abandoned

i wish he knows what I feel
i wish he Understands me well
i wish he Loves me
but all i can Do is just wish

and now,i'm in the 8Th grade
i wish i cAn taLk to him, but
he never talKs To me
i wish he knOws He's all I think about at night

what do i do now?
i can't live this life
i can't survive without you around Me
i need you

[ Audy and XheL'z ]

seat-mate

when i in the 8th grade, it happened on the first seMester
i had a friend and she became mY bff
i thought She understands mE

in the beginning, i believed thAt she is a good friend
but, in fact she doesn'T
she ditched me for someone else
And she didn'T know how i fElt about it

she kept away from me, she kiNda hAte me
and she didn't talk to Me at all
i thought that i should givE up
anD i told my sister about it

then, my sister told me that she know how it feels
she supported me in every wAy
she never give Up to supporteD me
until finallY she can be my friend again

while I didn't have any best friend
i thought that my seat-mate can be my beSt friend
i have known her Since i in the elemantary schoOl
and then sinCe that day on, i trust her to be my bestfriend

she suppoRts me in everyway
she tells me About everything i don't know
and sometimes when she in the bad mood
she becomes craZy in the class

i may saY thanks to my seat-mate
because she makes my life adorable

[ XheL'z ]

my friends

in my schoOl life when i was thirteen
i have so many friends and consider me "friend"
oUr friendship made all the people interested
and they all can accept me foR who i am

our Friendship was so adoRable and amazIng
evEryday i always fell happy
so, eveN all the lessons at school was Difficult
i could do all of it becauSe i was supported by my best friends

tHey came to my life like my sisters
they all so understood me and so meaningful to me
my life would suck wIthout them
we were seven Persons like seven fairies

talItha, the Smart one
vera, the funny one
tika, the cheerful one
ajeng, the little one
dyah, the calm one
nia,the meaningful one
Shiella, that's me!

but,when i'm in 8th grade when i'm fourteen
it's all gOne, no more cheerful no more haPpiness
they have change, they aRe teasing me now
all i have now is just a broken hEart

i just hope that someday they will realize
how important our friendship is
no more seCret between us
because It's all abOut oUr friendShip!

[ XheL'z ]

i have to forget you

i was a child who fell in love
in my twelve years old
even the love Is difficult
but i'm sure this love is real

i know if this ain't a Fairytale
that i can be the princess and you'll be thE prince
this is the real worLd that i can't imagine
because i was a dreamer before you come to my Life

right now, I want to change my life iNto a better life
i'm a teen and i'm not a chiLd anymore
i must grOw up and let my first loVe disappear from my life
'cause everystep that i walk is taking me to thE future

i don't want to remember the past
because the pain i feel is make me Weak and hurt
this tIme, i have nothing to discuss
'cause i have to conTinue all parts of my life

in the day you leave me alone, i was panic
i cried and i didn't know wHat should i do
but now it's enough for me to get all of this sick
i understand now to where i have to go

so, i just wanna say goodbye
tHank you because you let me love you
now i have to take my future
in a land far away wIthout you

i was a child who fell in love
in My twelve years old~

[ XheL'z ]